– Shock. This happens to everyone. This is the body’s natural first line of defense in protecting the mind, body, and soul.
– Mock-cceptance. Part-denial. Part-acceptance. You may feel fine, but you know that there’s more to come. Take advantage of this time and take care of the logistics while you still can.
– In-Overwhelmdom. Poignant emotions are everywhere and unpredictable. Feel the feelings… all of them. …want to cry, cry. If you want to be angry, be angry. If you feel numb, as most of us do, feel numb. Trust in the natural process of healing.
– Learning. The most important and under-rated step. Here’s the self-reflection part that we must pass through in order to get to the other side of the emotions. That way, we can ensure it doesn’t happen again and we therefore “learn” from our previous choices and experiences.
– Embrace. Because the idea of acceptance just isn’t enough in the 21st century anymore. We all need to enthusiastically learn and move forward with optimism, hope, and be fearless.
#Repeat the entire process above. Even when you have traversed all of the above, there will come a time when you get into that new relationship where some feelings may return. Thus, the repeat. Healing is a cyclical process, forever making you a better and wiser human being.”
“IMPORTANT TO NOTE IN PLANNING:
1. There are no rules in death. There are no rules in bereavement.
2. Your process of grieving is unique and purposeful.
3. Say everything you need to say. Get everything out. (Even if you don’t think they can hear you ie. coma, they always can). This eliminates/alleviates guilt and shame which can trap emotions for years and years.
4. Be authentic and truthful with your family, your friends, and your dying loved one.
5. Reminisce about the good times, the bad times, the funny times.
6. Ask the questions of purpose, life goals, happiness, lesson-learning? Wisdom pours out of people actively dying.
7. This is not easy. Go through the motions.
8. This too shall pass.
9. Honestly, as much preparation as you might do, the moment of death will shock you, and you will once again start over the “Healing” process as stated above…
10. Acknowledge your feelings and emotions. Check in with yourself at least once a day.”
“TIPS & TRICKS FOR EVEN THE DARKEST OF DAYS:
– We all experience raw emotion poignantly. It’s one of the most beautiful and terrible truths. They will be raw…be sad…feel depressed. You must know that this is all okay and completely normal.
– Feel free to have open and honest conversations. If not now, then when.
– Whereas, all other generations distract with television and movies; Millennials and Gen Z just need a mobile phone. They can do anything on that device. It’s the best passive and interesting distraction for both generations. Have your time.
– “Numbness is Natural!” Just know that the the void of emotions is a-okay and normal in times like these.
– “Obligations don’t apply.” Other than making sure you eat and your little ones are okay, you don’t have to do anything else.
– “Patience is a Virtue, especially now.” In times of challenge and strife, mundane tasks or little mistakes by other people can seem far worse.
– “Be a little Selfish.” This is a sign from the universe that you get to take some “you-time”.
– A truly understanding statement: There are no rules in grieving and loss. Take the time you need. There are no rules in healing. It gets to be on your schedule and your timeframe. Feelings are feelings.
– “Sleep and Naps” – Naps are our friends. They Can Be Amazing (for anyone)! When feeling down, there’s nothing better than drifting off to dreamland and forgetting about your current reality.
– Clothes? Wear the most comfortable clothes you own.
– “Music is My Life!” — “Music can heal the soul.”
“Reminders & Encouragement (for all):
– Remember to BREATHE. This may seem real #basic, but the wind has been knocked out of you emotionally. So, encourage yourself to take some nice deep breaths and continue to do so.
– Quiet time is integral and truly imperative. Sometimes we all just need a friend to come over and watch our favorite trashy reality tv shows without too much chit chat or reflection.
– Take care of yourself. If you really want an afternoon on a comfy sofa with Doritos, Pepsi, Postmates, and Netflix, then do it! Sometimes we all need to vedge and binge (pun-intended) simultaneously.
– Remember to Brush Your Teeth. Even if your hair is a bit disheveled from the binge watching or the Doritos, you never knew who will be delivering your Postmates. Bad hair – forgivable. Bad breath – not so much.
– Perhaps some PTO? Let’s face it, sometimes we all must use our sick days or vacation for healing from broken hearts. I mean, why else do we have them?”
The Elephas Group is a family-owned business that has been providing Funeral Planning advice and helping families deal with their times of loss for years. We are the premier provider of personalized funeral plans in Canada, proudly offering a Final Needs Planning Program, a Travel Protection Plan, Final Documents Service, Monument Services and a Supplemental Health Benefit Pharmacard.
Contact The Elephas Group for a free consultation from a Final Needs Planning expert today. We’ll work with you and your family to build an insurance plan best for your needs. For more questions about Final Needs Planning Program™ visit our website or contact one of our consultants at 1-800-661-8908.
Jarrett Goldman, CPC